Farting Is Good For You [You Can Have More Of It, But…] – Part 1.

This story, “Farting Is Good For You [You Can Have More Of It, But…] – Part 1,” is the first part of a two-part series.  Watch out for the second part!

A woman went to her local church in Nigeria, some time ago, and said to her pastor: “My daughter has been sick for some days now. Our doctor says it is because she’s not been farting. Could you, please, pray for her, so that she‘ll be able to fart again.”

The pastor prayed and succeeded in restoring the woman’s daughter’s health.

A few minutes after the pastor’s miraculous prayer, the lady began to fart there in the church as she used to do before to the glory of God, and the whole church went agog shouting: “Praise the Lord” repeatedly.

Before you laugh and crack your ribs, I don’t think this ever happened. I heard it from a comedian in Nigeria.

Let’s get down to serious business.

What Is Farting?

Farting is the act of releasing or expelling intestinal gas from the body through the anus, as you can see from the photograph on this page.

The gas, or ‘flatus’, which we expel from our body, consists of a number of gases including methane, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide.

The varying smell depends on the ratio of gases, which is influenced by the foods we eat.

Doctors say the average person farts between 15 and 40 times a day.

What’s the number for you?

Does Everybody Fart?

A 5-year-old girl farted in the presence of her mother, some time ago, and asked her mother: “Mummy, do adults fart, too?”

The little girl’s mother was so embarrassed that she didn’t know what to say.

The right answer to that woman’s little daughter’s embarrassing question is: ’Yes, adults fart too.’

Farting, whether loud or silent, stinky, or odorless, is something everybody; boy or girl, man or woman, black or White, old or young, rich or poor experiences.’

Is Farting Normal?

Yes, farting is normal. You can do it as often as it wants to come out of you, but be careful where you do it.

Do you know why?

I’ll tell you.

One of my classmates farted when we were in primary school, several decades ago, and up till now that she’s a grandmother, people still remember that incident and mock her about it.

So, make sure you control yourself as always so that you do not fart in public and cause yourself an everlasting embarrassment.

Why Do We Fart?

There are three (3) major reasons we fart.

i. Whenever you swallow and chew a piece of food, drink a mouthful of water or carbonated beverages, or simply swallow your own saliva, some amount of air goes in with it into your body and accumulates there.

It is this swallowed and accumulated air that your body releases from your body, in the form of gas, by either farting or burping.

ii. When there’s an overgrowth of bacteria in the small intestine, which is usually caused by several conditions, including type 2 diabetes, celiac disease, liver disease, and inflammatory bowel disease.

iii. When the carbohydrates we took in have not been fully digested by the enzymes in the small intestines. When partially digested carbs reach the colon, bacteria convert part of that food into hydrogen and carbon dioxide gasses.

All that gas has to go somewhere. Some of it can be absorbed by the body. But when too much of it gathers in the upper part of your colon and puts pressure on the colon wall, you can feel pain in your abdomen or even all the way up into your chest. Flatulence, though, allows for a painless means of escape for this gas.

                                                                                                                                                               …to be continued

NB: The second and concluding part of this story, which will be coming up on this blog in two days’ time, will dwell on why we sometimes fart too much and what we can do in that circumstance.

Keep a date with me!